Always learning

A few hours in Denny Hoehn's ice fishing house along with Scott Beckman was a great learning experience. Using an underwater camera hooked up to a mounted television screen to watch the way the bluegills approach the hook revolutionized my technique. Bluegill fishing requires you to be totally focused. The little fish always seem to bite; the bigger bluegills can be very frustrating. The big gills can approach your bait, smell it, suck it in, and spit it out in a second. Most of the time you don't feel a thing on your rod: Jigging too much can actually scare them away. If your jig is spinning around, many times the gills won't bite. I learned if you tie a two-foot leader to your line and attach your jig to the leader, it won't spin. The leader greatly improved my bigger bluegill catch.

I've taken many fishing trips to catch North Dakota walleyes with my fishin' buddy Scott. Scott has a gift;  he's always ready to go, organized, has done all of the research, and has planned food and menus. Whenever he begins a sentence with, “Dave, you know what I've learned?”, I pay attention.  We were fishing on a North Dakota lake and had our limit of beautiful walleyes swimming in the live well. As we were putting away equipment and preparing for our boat ride back to the landing, Scott said, “I'm going to try something I've just learned; bleed out the walleyes.”

Scott took out a scissors and made a cut through the gill plate; all of our fish were dead when we loaded to go home. He put the walleyes on ice to keep them fresh. Scott does a great job of cleaning the catch with his electric knife, every fillet is a restaurant fish. My job is to wash the fillets, but after bleeding the walleyes, there wasn’t much washing needed. Every fillet was clean, not a speck of blood. Now we bleed out every walleye we catch before we clean it. And I continue to pay sharp attention when Scott says, “Dave, you know what I’ve learned?”

I'd like to share a few things I've learned over the years.

Never ever let your driver's license expire! My license had expired by exactly one day: Mary at the bureau said, “Sorry, Dave, you'll have to retake your drivers test.” I read over some things in the driver's ed manual and Lisa quizzed me nightly on the information. The written test was full of trick questions.  Who remembers exactly how many feet away an oncoming vehicle should be when you dim your lights? Or how many feet do you stop before a crosswalk? I passed the test by a measly two points. When it came time for my driver’s test, my football players wished me good luck saying, “Hope you don't get the old sarge, she's tough!” Guess who I had? 

 I was feeling good as the ordeal proceeded: I had sweet-talked Sarge during the whole test and everything seemed to be going well. Then it was time to put my car between the flags. Parallel parking is a real weakness in my driving skills.

I asked her how I was doing, she answered with, “So far, perfect.”

 The parking flags looked closer together than normal. I asked her if I made a reasonable attempt to park would she fail me? She responded with, “Make it a very reasonable attempt.” I passed the test with a 93% and was back to being a legal driver.

Polly want a cracker? I've learned to never believe that. Several of my friends were gathered for a party and my friend had a beautiful parrot in a cage. Parrots can live for 50 years and have razor sharp, pressure-packed beaks. I was horsing around and reached into the cage to feed Polly, who grabbed not only the cracker, but also my index finger: She sliced it to the bone. The emergency room was my next stop; several stitches and a tetanus shot later, I was good as new. For weeks I took sarcastic comments from my friends and others: “Fed any parrots lately?”

Back in the day, students could bring homemade treats to school on their birthdays. Cookies were the most common choice. Somewhere along the way, I mentioned that I make a mean monster cookie. The students challenged me to a contest. Who knew? I came home and told my wife that she had to bake some monster cookies for my contest. That went over like a lead balloon.

Off to the grocery store I went to get the needed ingredients. Thankfully one of my football players was working and gladly helped me find all of the supplies. I was back home to bake in record time.

My wife did not make them, but she gave me step-by-step directions. That did not go in record time. As the buzzer went off on the first pan, I asked Lisa if it was time to flip them. Really?! She gave me a look of amazement at the question–and pointed out that we weren't making pancakes.

Needless to say, my class enjoyed the cookies. I learned that day that cookies are not flipped.

I've learned a couple of very helpful tips when doing a load of laundry.

Always check pockets or you may end up with several coins in the tub or a snowstorm of tiny kleenex or cough drop paper in your dryer.

Read the labels on your new clothing and wash appropriately. Things marked 100% cotton or wool can really shrink. You may end up with clothing that fits a Cabbage Patch doll.

Everyone will tell you that a dog is man's best friend. Our dog Sammy is at my tableside for every meal. I've learned that sharing spicy foods with her can really raise havoc with her digestive system. I’ve also learned that I spend the next twenty-four hours cleaning dog stains from the carpet.

Since I don’t know everything yet, I guess that means you’re never too old–or smart–to get a little smarter. Have a great day. Hopefully you, too, will become a bit wiser today–maybe even without having to clean the carpet.