Hunting with a camera

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING

I got great news from the IRS in the mail.

 

Are you getting a refund?

 

No, I’m getting an Audi.

 

Let me see that letter. You are getting audited.

 

DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. “Another day,” I thought. I’d nailed it. It was another day.

 

My rain gauge drowned as Minnesota tried to become the Land of 20,000 Lakes.

 

Mother Nature’s cloud storage was full, and we were not properly hydrated, so she gave us a firehose of rain.

 

The traditional English idiom "It never rains, but it pours" appeared in print as early as 1772. In 1914, the Morton Salt Company adopted the ad slogan, “When it rains, it pours.” My heart went out to those affected by the overly generous supply of water. Nine inches of rain fell in such a short period in New Richland that it seemed like 90 inches. Rising waters flooded houses and businesses. Then they came. They looked like normal people, but they were exceptional people. Fred Rogers, AKA Mr. Rogers, said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” Those helpers in New Richland are a special kind of good. What an amazing difference they made. THANK YOU!

 

It cleared up with a dry drizzle. Soon, it was a bright and shiny morning whether or not the sun was shining. It was a bright and shiny morning because of those helpers.

 

I’VE LEARNED

As a young man, I worked at a smelly turkey processing plant. A coworker wore Vicks VapoRub every day, not because he was ailing, but so he didn’t have to smell anything else. Vicks says it’s the third most recognized scent in the world behind peanut butter and coffee.

 

I stopped at the Salvation Army Store and the Library Bookstore to visit my old stuff. The good news was that I resisted the temptation to buy back any of my donations.

 

If you ever get the feeling that everybody knows something that you don’t, you’re right.

I’ve been telling stories at a good number of senior living communities. I never leave one without feeling enhanced and enlightened.

 

I’ve discovered that the word “nothing” is a palindrome. Backwards it spells “gnihton,” which also means nothing.

 

BAD JOKES DEPARTMENT

Due to the economy, the actor Vin Diesel changed his name to Vin Regular Unleaded.

 

A city cut coroners by eliminating one of its two medical examiners.

 

Naming a town is easy—just go with the name that is on the water tower.

 

Picasso’s home was burgled and he was asked to draw pictures of the suspects. The police searched for a goat and two bullheads.

 

NATURE NOTES

LaVonne Kalke of New Richland asked why there are so few birds in her yard in early fall. The multicolored Asian lady beetles ate them all. That’s not true. I kid because I love. Many birds follow their food and migrate. The populations of insect-reliant species like warblers, vireos and flycatchers have been reduced. Many songbirds migrate at night to avoid predators and take advantage of cooler, calmer air. Some species of birds that migrate during the day include pelicans, hawks, falcons, hummingbirds, swifts and swallows. Natural food sources like berries, seeds and late-season insects are abundant, so birds don’t need to rely on feeders. Resident birds become less vocal with no need to attract a mate or defend a territory. Hardy birds like chickadees, juncos, goldfinches, cardinals, blue jays, nuthatches and woodpeckers will become more active at feeders as the weather gets colder.

 

Many birds around the world are starting their days earlier than ever, because of unnaturally bright skies caused by light pollution. They vocalize about 20 minutes earlier in the morning and stop vocalizing about 30 minutes later in the evening, according to Neil Gilbert, a wildlife ecologist with Oklahoma State University. Gilbert and Brent Pease of Southern Illinois University analyzed millions of recordings of birdsong to determine their findings.

 

I was invited to the Governor’s Pheasant Hunting Opener. I appreciated being invited, but I’ll be hunting with a camera. I delight in taking photos of nature’s stunners.

 

A wild turkey's snood is the fleshy flap that dangles down over the beak, and the wattle is the loose skin that hangs under the chin.

 

Thank you for listening and watching KMSU Radio and KEYC TV.

 

MEETING ADJOURNED

One of my favorite writers died recently—Annie Dillard. She wrote this: “We are here to bring to consciousness the beauty and power that are around us and to praise the people who are here with us.”